coolbird30

That’s what this blog is going to be for me… ups and downs. I’ll start up then roll down. I’m feeling pretty good this week. Mom had her birthday Tuesday, and even though it may very well end up being her last with me here on Earth, we still made the most of it. She requested chocolate cake and fish n chips. We ended up getting the cake free, and then couldn’t afford the fish… luckily it seems she forgot about that anyway. It was a small cake, maybe 6 inches in diameter, and only a single layer. Mom and I had a piece together on Monday. Then I had another piece Monday night. Tuesday I had another in honor of her actual day… asked Chris if he was going to have any… nope.. ok.. in the bin!! According to the nutritional info, it was 140 calories per slice….. so maybe I’ve not done too much damage. It went in the trash right on top of the dust, fur and other crap that was vacuumed up earlier that day. Now, for those of you that know me.. I hope you are genuinely shocked that I threw out that cake!! ½ a cake!! In the bin!! Amazing!! Wow…. Happy with myself for that! Other than that cake, my eating has been right on target! I met with the nutritionist last week.. she wants me to eat 1800 calories no matter how much or how little exercise I get each day. She said the lowest I should ever go is 1400, and that would be a really off day.. fluctuation is good, and eating ‘normal’ is good.. after all, this is a lifestyle, not a diet. I’m really, really hoping for a loss this week, especially since I’ve worked out everyday M-F this week. Sliding down slow now… mom seems to be doing ok… back to her version of what normal has been for the last several months. I still don’t know the full story of what caused them to call in Hospice, and maybe this weekend I can find out.. but in the mean time, mom seems in good enough spirits. Now.. I’m sad for a good friend of mine. This person is in a relationship, that from an outside perspective, seems to be all wrong for them. I love this friend and only want them happy… as you do, if they are your friend. I wish there was a way to have this person remove their blinders and really see the state of their relationship. I know it won’t happen, and that I can’t force them too. I don’t need comments on ‘let your friend lead their own life’ or ‘you can’t force them to change’ I know all that. I write this just to get out my frustrations on the situation only. So, to all my Wildcats… Let’s have a great weigh in this week and bring that trophy on home where it belongs!!

Last night I received a phone call from my uncle, mom’s only sibling.  He said that mom’s had ‘something’ but he’s not exactly sure what.  A relapse maybe, or another stroke?  He’s not sure.  He said I should try and get a hold of my step father, or go down to see mom.  I asked if they moved her to a hospital, no, she’s still at the nursing home.    Obvious choice for me was to go to the nursing home.  Don’t want to talk to the a$$hole if I don’t have to..  yes, we may run into him at the home, but better than having to call him. 

Chris gets dressed and I put Mikayla in a sleeper, so that if she falls asleep, I won’t have to change her again.  This was 8pm last night.  We head down to the nursing home, and I see mom’s weekend nurse, Erica.  As we’re getting in the elevator I asked her if she knew what was going on with mom…  she didn’t.    We get upstairs, and there’s a laptop and a bag or 2 in mom’s room and she’s in bed.  I go in and she sees me and says Hi, and smiles!  And she reaches a hand out to Mikayla and says ‘Hi baby!’..  (she has a hard time saying Mikayla’s name)..  I ask mom what’s going on and she said she didn’t know, that she hasn’t been feeling very good.  That she has to have a procedure done.  Erica comes up and peeks in, asks if we know anything yet..  said no, just that mom thinks she has to have a procedure.  Mom has ephasia, so that may or may not be what she meant to say.. I don’t really know.  Another lady then comes into the room.  She’s a nurse with Hospice of the Valley.  Hospice is who they call when they feel the person is at the end of the road.  I was a little stunned, but not fully surprised really.  I though the laptop and stuff belonged to Ron, the stepfather.  Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that since Monday, Mom has been having severe pain in her legs, severe nausea, fever and massive amounts of vomiting.  When we got there her fever was just starting to come down.  The nurse talked to us just that little bit, said she just wanted to finish the admission process, then we could visit with mom for a bit.  She finished up and went and sat at the nurses station while we sat with mom for a bit.  You could tell she was tired and not feeling her best, so we mostly just sat with her.  Mikayla trying to get her bracelet made from little plastic dice, and mom and I holding hands.  I don’t know what happened to her, but she had dried blood and dirt under her fingernails on her ‘good’ hand.  I gave Mikayla to Chris and cleaned out her nails.  She was still quite warm and clammy so I got a washcloth and wet it down.  I wiped her arm, her face and cleaned the rest of her hand.  We then sat for a bit longer with her till she was falling asleep.  I asked her if she was giving up on me, she said no.    After she was practically asleep, we said our good-byes and I love you’s and told her we’ll see her soon. 

We went out to the nurses station and the hospice nurse had me fill out a contact sheet…  when she handed it to me, Ron had put himself and his royal, spoiled bitch of a daughter on there.  And he listed his daughter as mom’s daughter!  Oh HELL NO!!  I put STEP above daughter and told the nurse that she is NOT mom’s daughter!!  No way, shape or form has that woman ever been even nice enough for mom to consider her as a daughter!!   I told the nurse that I have MPOA after Ron, and she said the regular nurse will get all of that straightened out.   The nurse said that generally hospice is called in when the doctor feels the patient may only have 6 months left, but it’s not for sure.  Some patients are on it for a very long time.  To be honest.. I hope mom isn’t.  She doesn’t have a life anymore.  This isn’t her life.  She hates this.  She hates not being able to be a more involved grandmother to Mikayla, she hates that she couldn’t do anything with me for my pregnancy..  not even attend my baby shower, the birth or the baptism.  She hates it!!  As much as it will be so hard to lose her, I know she will be so much better off.  

Ok, the tears are here, so I better go and let Nancy get this posted for me….  I had to share this with you all, because you are all like family to me.

Nic.

God’s  Pharmacy

God  first  made the salt water from the fresh, made dry land,  planted a
garden,  made animals and fish… all before making a  human. He made and
provided  what we’d need before we were born.  These are best & more powerful
when eaten raw.  We’re  such slow  learners…
God left us great clues  as to what foods  help what part of our body!
God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!

A sliced  Carrot looks like the human  eye. The pupil,  iris and radiating
lines look just like the  human eye… and YES,  science now shows carrots
greatly enhance  blood flow to and function of  the eyes.

A Tomato has four  chambers and is  red. The heart has four chambers and is
red. All of  blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster  that has  the shape of the heart. Each grape
looks like a blood cell and  all of the research today shows grapes are also
profound heart and blood  vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a  little brain,  a left and right hemisphere, upper
cerebrums and lower  cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are
just like  the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three
(3)  dozen neuron-transmitters for brain  function.

Kidney  Beans actually heal and  help maintain kidney  function and yes,
they look exactly like the  human  kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy,  Rhubarb and many  more look just like bones. These foods
specifically  target bone  strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods
are 23%  sodium. If  you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body
pulls it  from  the bones, th us making them weak. These foods replenish the
skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, Eggplant and  Pears target  the health and function of the womb
and cervix of the  female -  they look j us t like these organs . Today’s
research shows  that  when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances
hormones, sheds  unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how
profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow  an avocado from
blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000  photolytic chemical
constituents of nutrition in each one of these  foods (modern science has only
studied and named about 141 of  them).

Figs are full of seeds  and hang in  twos when they grow. Figs increase the
mobility of male  sperm and  increase the numbers of Sperm as well to
overcome male  sterility.

Sweet  Potatoes look like the  pancreas and actually balance the glycemic
index  of  diabetics.

Olives  assist the health and  function of the  ovaries

Oranges ,Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits  look just like the mammary
glands of the female and actually  assist the health of the breasts and the
movement of lymph in and  out of the breasts.

Onions look like the  body’s cells.  Today’s research shows onions help
clear waste materials  from all  of the body cells. They even produce tears
which wash the  epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic,
also  helps eliminate waste materials and dangero us free radicals from the
body.

I’m getting used to my camera phone..  thought I’d share some pictures…  hehe..

That one of me was a shocker to me.. that shirt is a plain old XL..  no plus sizing!!  Couldn’t believe it!!

The last one in that row is Mikayla and my mom….

Hope you enjoy!! 

Hello all my wonderful buddies!!

 I have a huge favor, and I know it will be very hard for some of you (Kama) to do….   I won’t get to see the finale of Biggest Loser until either Wednesday or (hopefully not) Thursday night….  and my favor is this…

Please, please, please…  if you’re going to discuss the finale show and outcome, would you put a disclaimer in the heading of your blog so I don’t accidentally run into it??

I know, it’s a big favor..  and I can’t really ask you to not talk about it, cuz it will be big news…  but please help me so I don’t find out before hand like I did last year!

Thank you, I really, really appreciate it!!!  Love you all!!!  (((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Thank you all for the advice on my former stepmom!  I thought you might want to hear what happened….    I actually couldn’t call her because the number I thought I found for her, didn’t work.  So Saturday I was out wandering around and went into a Walmart…  and she worked there!  When she saw me she was stunned… and when she saw Mikayla she asked if she was mine, and when I said she is.. she started crying.  She was so happy for me!!  She said she had been praying for this for me for so long!  We talked a bit, but made plans to visit the next morning..  she gave me her address and we went and visited for about 2 1/2 hours Sunday morning.  It was pretty cool!  She was so excited to have Mikayla, and was saying how now she can buy all the cute little clothes that go on clearance and stuff…..  and she gave me a bunch of pictures…. of which one of them is below.  This is one of my wedding pictures to my second ex husband!  I still don’t see the difference, and think its funny…  because the dress just has no shape to it, AND I’m wearing a girdle under it!!  LOL  I didn’t realize my shorts I was wearing yesterday were so baggy, till Steph called it a skirt!!  LOL   so funny!!!   Again, thanks to all of you for your support!!

Is there any difference?  My ex stepmom gave me a bunch of pictures today, and this was one of them.  Chris said I’m half that first picture…..

The first picture is my second wedding in 2000…   the second picture was taken today.

What do you guess think?  Be honest, don’t sugar coat it.

Thank you all for the advice on my former stepmom!  I thought you might want to hear what happened….    I actually couldn’t call her because the number I thought I found for her, didn’t work.  So Saturday I was out wandering around and went into a Walmart…  and she worked there!  When she saw me she was stunned… and when she saw Mikayla she asked if she was mine, and when I said she is.. she started crying.  She was so happy for me!!  She said she had been praying for this for me for so long!  We talked a bit, but made plans to visit the next morning..  she gave me her address and we went and visited for about 2 1/2 hours Sunday morning.  It was pretty cool!  She was so excited to have Mikayla, and was saying how now she can buy all the cute little clothes that go on clearance and stuff…..  and she gave me a bunch of pictures…. of which one of them is below.  This is one of my wedding pictures to my second ex husband!  I still don’t see the difference, and think its funny…  because the dress just has no shape to it, AND I’m wearing a girdle under it!!  LOL  I didn’t realize my shorts I was wearing yesterday were so baggy, till Steph called it a skirt!!  LOL   so funny!!!   Again, thanks to all of you for your support!!

Is there any difference?  My ex stepmom gave me a bunch of pictures today, and this was one of them.  Chris said I’m half that first picture…..

The first picture is my second wedding in 2000…   the second picture was taken today.

What do you guys think?  Be honest, don’t sugar coat it.

I’ve been kind of struggling with something.  My parents divorced when I was in 5^th grade.  My dad remarried in ‘86, when I was in Jr High..  I always got along very well with my step mom.  Here’s my ‘problem’ if you will.  As most of you know my mom is not well.  She’s had her strokes and a heart attack and even though she’s still here, she’s not.  We can’t go shopping like we used to, out to eat, holiday’s aren’t the same…  none of that.  And some days she just sits there and stares off into space.  Now, believe it or not, my mom and my former step mom were pretty good friends.  They hung out together, went to the movies, shopping, out to eat all the time..  Now my problem is, I’m feeling like my former SM needs me right now.  Her kids don’t seem to make much of an effort to see her very much, so I get a feeling that she’s pretty lonely.  She’s always been excited for me to have a baby, so I’d like to take Mikayla to see her…  but the problem lies in how her and my dad split up.  It was in either ’03 or ’04 and it was horrible.  She took my dad for everything!  He was living in a piece of crap mobile home up in Prescott, which is about an hour and a half north of Phoenix (for those who don’t know).  The reason she left him is because she wanted to move back down to Phoenix and dad didn’t.  So she left him and moved down here and he stayed in the crappy mobile home, where she didn’t want to live..  yep, you guessed it.  In the divorce, she got the house awarded to her, then sold it out from under him..  causing him to move far away.  I hate having my dad so far away.  She also had in the papers that my dad had this huge amount of money in savings, that the judge awarded her…  but my dad doesn’t have ANY money, only social securtiy..  so basically, it was bad.  I want to get in tough with my stepmom, and maybe it’s only me feeling needy for a mom, I don’t really know, but I also don’t want to upset my dad.  I called my dad earlier today to ask him if he would be ok with me getting in touch, and he said to make sure not to tell her where he is..  but he really didn’t sound like he was happy with the idea, which I can understand…  so now I’m wondering what I should do..  any ideas?