coolbird30

I have this friend.  This friend has told me many times that I am one of the most important people in her life, because I can understand this battle of weight loss, the loss of a mother/parent, parenthood in general….  we seemed to have so much in common…  but now, I find that almost everytime I ask her a question about many situations, that this friend feels the need to lie to me.   This friend thinks I hold myself as superior to her - I certainly don’t.  She thinks I’m jumping down her throat, I’m not.  She is constantly mistaking my excitement for her as jumping on her….  I’m not.  Right now I find that it’s very hard to be her friend.  I try to face her, tell her straight out how I feel, how I want to help… and it falls on deaf ears.  :(     I don’t know how much longer I can carry on with this friendship as it is.  Maybe this is one of those friendships that is only supposed to be for a season, and maybe that season is passing.   This friend makes me not want to read emails sometimes, because I just cringe at what might be in it.  Today she asked for a prayer request…  and I just couldn’t lie to her and tell her that I would pray that for her…  because I know deep in my heart it is not what she should be doing, even though she disagrees…  I almost don’t want to even come on BS because I’m afraid of what lie her blog will tell, or her posts in the forums…   I read someone make a comment one time, I think on her blog, but I can’t remember…  saying that this person is two faced.  I thought that was rather harsh…  but I’m starting to see what that person meant.  I’m very sad about this, but am mature enough to understand that not all friendships are meant to last for a lifetime.  I’m sure when she sees this blog it will upset her, I’m sorry.  There just isn’t anything more I can really say.  We don’t need to ‘talk’, we just need to leave it as it is.   

I don’t really know if any of this really makes much sense, but I guess it’s ok if it doesn’t.  This is just something that I needed to say.  If you plan on commenting and being negative, please don’t bother…  this is my blog, my thoughts, my feelings, my heart. 

It’s so very hard, this journey that we are all on.  I have to thank God so much for bringing me to BS, for giving me my Wildcats and my tribe, because if it weren’t for all aspects of these 3, I would surely have given up on this journey long ago.  I have been on BS sine Jan 2008.  Now, granted, I got pregnant in Feb so was sidetracked for a bit, but I’ve been fully doing this since Jan of this year and I’ve only lost 10 pounds!  10 pounds in nearly 9 months!!  That’s not as great as I would like.  Why am I not seeing results?  I have no idea!!  I workout at minimun 5 days a week, plus shopping/walking on the weekends.  I have given up processed foods, sugar, and flour…  so why am I still not seeing the weight come off?  I really wish I knew!  Guess after our big move I’ll have to speak to a doctor about it.  Maybe my thyroid is messed up too.  It just doesn’t make any sense…..

Well yesterday at work our building was evacuated due to a serious deisel fuel leak.  Apparently all our electric/ac/heating is run by deisel, and the tank leaked right down through the building, through the pipes and out onto the upper parking deck.  The fumes started coming into all the offices and hazmat was called.  We had to go out down the stairs and go across the street.  The fireman said there is no way we can go back in the building, but we were ok to go into the parking garages under the building to get our cars…  so we all scooted off to get our cars.  Last night my bossman called and said that the fire dept had cleared the building…  oh well..  back to work!!  

Hope everyone has a great day!!